I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
