He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
