i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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