Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
