their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
