we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
