There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
