david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
