Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
