Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
