in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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