Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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