y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
