As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
