oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
