Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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