I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
