is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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