Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize