yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
