The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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