dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
