You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize