I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize