The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize