I CAN MOONWALK!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
