Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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