Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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