I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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