yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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