I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
