The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
