Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
