well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
