my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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