why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize