So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
