I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
God, I missed his penis.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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