I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
