I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
