why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
