help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
either way he was missing a nipple.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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