I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
