Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
