I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
