idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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