I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
