with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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