smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
