I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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