Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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