He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
