mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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