what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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