too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
