Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
