As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
