a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
