Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
