the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
