I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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