I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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