Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
