is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
