i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize