And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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