nut hugger
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
