Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
two words...techno handjob
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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