He kissed a someone with a penis
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just found a bag of teeth...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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