There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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