I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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