If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
